Quotes
Quotes about Wit
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?.
He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
And to preserve their independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. We must make our election between economy and liberty, or profusion and servitude.
But Esau's hands suit ill with Jacob's voice.
One may outwit another, but not all the others. [Fr., On peut etre plus fin qu'un autre, mais non pas plus fin que tous les autres.]
It is vain to find fault with those arts of deceiving, wherein men find pleasure to be deceived.
Where the lion's skin falls short it must be eked out with the fox's.
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Falsehood is never so successful as when she baits her hook with truth, and no opinions so fastly misled us as those that are not wholly wrong, as no timepieces so effectively deceive the wearer as those that are sometimes right.
a lot of elephants are running around with donkey jackets in the Democratic Party.
Shout now! The months with loud acclaim, Take up the cry and send it forth; May breathing sweet her Spring perfumes, November thundering from the North. With hands upraised, as with one voice, They join their notes in grand accord; Hail to December! say they all, It gave to Earth our Christ the Lord!
In a drear-nighted December, Too happy, happy brook, Thy bubblings ne'er remember Apollo's summer look; But with a sweet forgetting, They stay their crystal fretting, Never, never petting About the frozen time.
Every decision is liberating, even if it leads to disaster. Otherwise, why do so many people walk upright and with open eyes into their misfortune?
Everything starts with yourselfâwith you making up your mind about what you're going to do with your life. I tell kids that it's a cruel world, and that the world will bend them either left or right, and it's up to them to decide which way to bend.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.
Every decision is liberating, even if it leads to disaster. Otherwise, why do so many people walk upright and with open eyes into their misfortune?.
It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.
His deeds do not agree with his words. [Lat., Facta ejus cum dictis discrepant.]
"I worked for men," my Lord will say, When we meet at the end of the King's highway; "I walked with the beggar along the road, I kissed the bondsman stung by the goad, I bore my half of the porter's load. And what did you do," my Lord will say, "As you traveled along the King's highway?"
Go put your creed into your deed, Not speak with double tongue.
If you're a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!".
A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
