My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarf's in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures.
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
... government that "substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.".
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
There are two tragedies in life. One is not get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
When I was young I observed that nine out of every ten things I did were failures, so I did ten times more work.
If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat.
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
I don't know if there are men on the moon, but if there are they must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum.
My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately.
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience!
We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
The novelties of one generation are only the resuscitated fashions of the generation before last.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Fashions, after all, are only induced epidemics.
If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.
What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.
Always let your flattery be seen through for what really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.
There is no love sincerer than the love of food.