Chapter XII: The Escape and the End

The Pursuit of the House-Boat

by John Kendrick Bangs

If there was anxiety on board of the Gehenna as to the condition
and whereabouts of the House-boat, there was by no means less
uneasiness upon that vessel itself. Cleopatra's scheme for ridding
herself and her abducted sisters of the pirates had worked to a
charm, but, having worked thus, a new and hitherto undreamed-of
problem, full of perplexities bearing upon their immediate safety,
now confronted them. The sole representative of a seafaring family
on board was Mrs. Noah, and it did not require much time to see that
her knowledge as to navigation was of an extremely primitive order,
limited indeed to the science of floating.

When the last pirate had disappeared behind the rocks of Holmes
Island, and all was in readiness for action, the good old lady, who
had hitherto been as calm and unruffled as a child, began to get red
in the face and to bustle about in a manner which betrayed
considerable perturbation of spirit.

"Now, Mrs. Noah," said Cleopatra, as, peeping out from the
billiard- room window, she saw Morgan disappearing in the distance,
"the coast is clear, and I resign my position of chairman to you. We
place the vessel in your hands, and ourselves subject to your orders.
You are in command. What do you wish us to do?"

"Very well," replied Mrs. Noah, putting down her knitting and
starting for the deck. "I'm not certain, but I think the first thing
to do is to get her moving. Do you know, I've never discovered
whether this boat was a steamboat or a sailing-vessel? Does anybody
know?"

"I think it has a naphtha tank and a propeller," said Elizabeth,
"although I don't know. It seems to me my brother Raleigh told me
they'd had a naphtha engine put in last winter after the freshet,
when the House-boat was carried ten miles down the river, and had to
be towed back at enormous expense. They put it in so that if she
were carried away again she could get back of her own power."

"That's unfortunate," said Mrs. Noah, "because I don't know
anything about these new fangled notions. If there's any one here
who knows anything about naphtha engines, I wish they'd speak."

"I'm of the opinion," said Portia, "that I can study out the
theory of it in a short while."

"Very well, then," said Mrs. Noah, "you can do it. I'll appoint
you engineer, and give you all your orders now, right away, in
advance. Set her going and keep her going, and don't stop without a
written order signed by me. We might as well be very careful, and
have everything done properly, and it might happen that in the
excitement of our trip you would misunderstand my spoken orders and
make a fatal error. Therefore, pay no attention to unwritten orders.
That will do for you for the present. Xanthippe, you may take
Ophelia and Madame Recamier, and ten other ladies, and, every morning
before breakfast, swab the larboard deck. Cassandra, Tuesdays you
will devote to polishing the brasses in the dining-room, and the
balance of your time I wish you to expend in dusting the bric-a-brac.
Dido, you always were strong at building fires. I'll make you chief
stoker. You will also assist Lucretia Borgia in the kitchen.
Inasmuch as the latter's maid has neglected to supply her with the
usual line of poisons, I think we can safely entrust to Lucretia's
hands the responsibilities of the culinary department."

"I'm perfectly willing to do anything I can," said Lucretia,
"but I must confess that I don't approve of your methods of
commanding a ship. A ship's captain isn't a domestic martinet, as
you are setting out to be. We didn't appoint you housekeeper."

"Now, my child," said Mrs. Noah, firmly, "I do not wish any
words. If I hear any more impudence from you, I'll put you ashore
without a reference; and the rest of you I would warn in all kindness
that I will not tolerate insubordination. You may, all of you, have
one night of the week and alternate Sundays off, but your work must
be done. The regimen I am adopting is precisely that in vogue on the
Ark, only I didn't have the help I have now, and things got into very
bad shape. We were out forty days, and, while the food was poor and
the service execrable, we never lost a life."

The boat gave a slight tremor.

"Hurrah!" cried Elizabeth, clapping her hands with glee, "we are
off!"

"I will repair to the deck and get our bearings," said Mrs.
Noah, putting her shawl over her shoulders. "Meantime, Cleopatra, I
appoint you first mate. See that things are tidied up a bit here
before I return. Have the windows washed, and to-morrow I want all
the rugs and carpets taken up and shaken."

Portia meanwhile had discovered the naphtha engine, and, after
experimenting several times with the various levers and stop-cocks,
had finally managed to move one of them in such a way as to set the
engine going, and the wheel began to revolve.

"Are we going all right?" she cried, from below.

"I am afraid not," said the gallant commander. "The wheel is
roiling up the water at a great rate, but we don't seem to be going
ahead very fast--in fact, we're simply moving round and round as
though we were on a pivot."

"I'm afraid we're aground amidships," said Xanthippe, gazing
over the side of the House-boat anxiously. "She certainly acts that
way--like a merry-go-round."

"Well, there's something wrong," said Mrs. Noah; "and we've got
to hurry and find out what it is, or those men will be back and we
shall be as badly off as ever."

"Maybe this has something to do with it," observed Mrs. Lot,
pointing to the anchor rope. "It looks to me as if those horrid men
had tied us fast."

"That's just what it is," snapped Mrs. Noah. "They guessed our
plan, and have fastened us to a pole or something, but I imagine we
can untie it."

Portia, who had come on deck, gave a short little laugh.

"Why, of course we don't move," she said--"we are anchored!"

"What's that?" queried Mrs. Noah. "We never had an experience
like that on the Ark."

Portia explained the science of the anchor.

"What nonsense!" ejaculated Mrs. Noah. "How can we get away
from it?"

"We've got to pull it up," said Portia. "Order all hands on
deck and have it pulled up."

"It can't be done, and, if it could, I wouldn't have it!" said
Mrs. Noah, indignantly. "The idea! Lifting heavy pieces of iron, my
dear Portia, is not a woman's work. Send for Delilah, and let her
cut the rope with her scissors."

"It would take her a week to cut a hawser like that," said
Elizabeth, who had been investigating. "It would be more to the
purpose, I think, to chop it in two with an axe."

"Very well," replied Mrs. Noah, satisfied. "I don't care how it
is done as long as it is done quickly. It would never do for us to
be recaptured now."

The suggestion of Elizabeth was carried out, and the queen
herself cut the hawser with six well-directed strokes of the axe.

"You are an expert with it, aren't you?" smiled Cleopatra.

"I am, indeed," replied Elizabeth, grimly. "I had it suspended
over my head for so long a time before I got to the throne that I
couldn't help familiarizing myself with some of its
possibilities."

"Ah!" cried Mrs. Noah, as the vessel began to move. "I begin to
feel easier. It looks now as if we were really off."

"It seems to me, though," said Cleopatra, gazing forward, "that
we are going backward."

"Oh, well, what if we are!" said Mrs. Noah. "We did that on the
Ark half the time. It doesn't make any difference which way we are
going as long as we go, does it?"

"Why, of course it does!" cried Elizabeth. "What can you be
thinking of? People who walk backward are in great danger of running
into other people. Why not the same with ships? It seems to me,
it's a very dangerous piece of business, sailing backward."

"Oh, nonsense," snapped Mrs. Noah. "You are as timid as a
zebra. During the Flood, we sailed days and days and days, going
backward. It didn't make a particle of difference how we went--it was
as safe one way as another, and we got just as far away in the end.
Our main object now is to get away from the pirates, and that's what
we are doing. Don't get emotional, Lizzie, and remember, too, that I
am in charge. If I think the boat ought to go sideways, sideways she
shall go. If you don't like it, it is still not too late to put you
ashore."

The threat calmed Elizabeth somewhat, and she was satisfied, and
all went well with them, even if Portia had started the propeller
revolving reverse fashion; so that the House-boat was, as Elizabeth
had said, backing her way through the ocean.

The day passed, and by slow degrees the island and the marooned
pirates faded from view, and the night came on, and with it a dense
fog.

"We're going to have a nasty night, I am afraid," said
Xanthippe, looking anxiously out of the port.

"No doubt," said Mrs. Noah, pleasantly. "I'm sorry for those
who have to be out in it."

"That's what I was thinking about," observed Xanthippe. "It's
going to be very hard on us keeping watch."

"Watch for what?" demanded Mrs. Noah, looking over the tops of
her glasses at Xanthippe.

"Why, surely you are going to have lookouts stationed on deck?"
said Elizabeth.

"Not at all," said Mrs. Noah. "Perfectly absurd. We never did
it on the Ark, and it isn't necessary now. I want you all to go to
bed at ten o'clock. I don't think the night air is good for you.
Besides, it isn't proper for a woman to be out after dark, whether
she's new or not."

"But, my dear Mrs. Noah," expostulated Cleopatra, "what will
become of the ship?"

"I guess she'll float through the night whether we are on deck
or not," said the commander. "The Ark did, why not this? Now,
girls, these new-fangled yachting notions are all nonsense. It's
night, and there's a fog as thick as a stone-wall all about us. If
there were a hundred of you upon deck with ten eyes apiece, you
couldn't see anything. You might much better be in bed. As your
captain, chaperon, and grandmother, I command you to stay below."

"But--who is to steer?" queried Xanthippe.

"What's the use of steering until we can see where to steer to?"
demanded Mrs. Noah. "I certainly don't intend to bother with that
tiller until some reason for doing it arises. We haven't any place
to steer to yet; we don't know where we are going. Now, my dear
children, be reasonable, and don't worry me. I've had a very hard
day of it, and I feel my responsibilities keenly. Just let me
manage, and we'll come out all right. I've had more experience than
any of you, and if--"

A terrible crash interrupted the old lady's remarks. The
House-boat shivered and shook, careened way to one side, and as
quickly righted and stood still. A mad rush up the gangway followed,
and in a moment a hundred and eighty-three pale-faced, trembling
women stood upon the deck, gazing with horror at a great helpless
hulk ten feet to the rear, fastened by broken ropes and odd pieces of
rigging to the stern-posts of the House-boat, sinking slowly but
surely into the sea.

It was the Gehenna!

The House-boat had run her down and her last hour had come, but,
thanks to the stanchness of her build and wonderful beam, the
floating club-house had withstood the shock of the impact and now
rode the waters as gracefully as ever.

Portia was the first to realize the extent of the catastrophe,
and in a short while chairs and life-preservers and
tables--everything that could float--had been tossed into the sea to
the struggling immortals therein. On board the Gehenna, those who
had not cast themselves into the waters, under the cool direction of
Holmes and Bonaparte, calmly lowered the boats, and in a short while
were not only able to felicitate themselves upon their safety, but
had likewise the good fortune to rescue their more impetuous brethren
who had preferred to swim for it. Ultimately, all were brought
aboard the House-boat in safety, and the men in Hades were once more
reunited to their wives, daughters, sisters, and fiancees, and
Elizabeth had the satisfaction of once more saving the life of
Raleigh by throwing him her ruff as she had done a year or so
previously, when she and her brother had been upset in the swift
current of the river Styx.

Order and happiness being restored, Holmes took command of the
House- boat and soon navigated her safely back into her old-time
berth. The Gehenna went to the bottom and was never seen again, and
when the roll was called it was found that all who had set out upon
her had returned in safety save Shylock, Kidd, Sir Henry Morgan, and
Abeuchapeta; but even they were not lost, for, five weeks later,
these four worthies were found early one morning drifting slowly up
the river Styx, gazing anxiously out from the top of a water-cask and
yelling lustily for help.

And here endeth the chronicle of the pursuit of the good old
House- boat. Back to her moorings, the even tenor of her ways was
once more resumed, but with one slight difference.

The ladies became eligible for membership, and, availing
themselves of the privilege, began to think less and less of the
advantages of being men and to rejoice that, after all, they were
women; and even Xanthippe and Socrates, after that night of peril,
reconciled their differences, and no longer quarrel as to which is
the more entitled to wear the toga of authority. It has become for
them a divided skirt.

As for Kidd and his fellows, they have never recovered from the
effects of their fearful, though short, exile upon Holmes Island, and
are but shadows of their former shades; whereas Mr. Sherlock Holmes
has so endeared himself to his new-found friends that he is quite as
popular with them as he is with us, who have yet to cross the dark
river and be subjected to the scrutiny of the Committee on Membership
at the House-boat on the Styx.

Even Hawkshaw has been able to detect his genius.