THE FORTY-FIRST CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE FORTY-FIRST CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius


How Barbarus being jealous over his wife, commanded that shee
should be kept close in his house, and what happened.

You shall understand that on a day this Barbarus preparing
himselfe to ride abroad, and willing to keepe the chastity of his wife
(whom he so well loved) alone to himselfe, called his man Myrmex
(whose faith he had tryed and proved in many things) and secretly
committed to him the custody of his wife, willing him that he should
threaten, that if any man did but touch her with his finger as he
passed by, he would not onely put him in prison, and bind him hand
and foote, but also cause him to be put to death, or else to be
famished for lacke of sustenance, which words he confirmed by an
oath of all the Gods in heaven, and so departed away : When
Barbarus was gone, Myrmex being greatly astonied of his masters
threatnings, would not suffer his mistresse to goe abroad, but as she
sate all day a Spinning, he was so carefull that he sate by her;
when night came he went with her to the baines, holding her by the
garment, so faithfull he was to fulfill the commandement of his
master : Howbeit the beauty of this matron could not be hidden
from the burning eyes of Philesiterus, who considering her great
chastity and how she was diligently kept by Myrmex, thought it
impossible to have his purpose, yet (indeavouring by all kind of
meanes to enterprise the matter, and remembring the fragility of
man, that might be intised and corrupted with money, since as by
gold the adamant gates may be opened) on a day, when he found
Myrmex alone, he discovered his love, desiring him to shew his
favour, (otherwise he should certainly dye) with assurance that he
need not to feare when as he might privily be let in and out in the
night, without knowledge of any person. When he thought, with
these and other gentle words to allure and prick forward the
obstinate mind of Myrmex he shewed him glittering gold in his
hand, saying that he would give his mistresse twenty crowns and
him ten, but Myrmex hearing these words, was greatly troubled,
abhorring in his mind to commit such a mischiefe: wherfore he
stopped his eares, and turning his head departed away: howbeit the
glittering view of these crownes could never be out of his mind, but
being at home he seemed to see the money before his eyes, which
was so worthy a prey, wherefore poore Myrmex being in divers
opinions could not tell what to doe, for on the one side lie
considered the promise which he made to his master, and the
punishment that should ensue if he did contrary. On the other side
he thought of the gaine, and the passing pleasure of the crownes of
gold; in the end the desire of the money did more prevaile then the
feare of death, for the beauty of the flowrishing crownes did so
sticke in his mind, that where the menaces of his master compelled
him to tarry at home, the pestilent avarice of gold egged him out a
doores, wherefore putting all shame aside, without further delay, he
declared all the whole matter to his Mistresse, who according to the
nature of a woman, when she heard him speake of so great a
summe she bound chastity in a string, and gave authority to
Myrmex to rule her in that case. Myrmex seeing the intent of his
Mistresse, was very glad, and for great desire of the gold, he ran
hastily to Philesiterus, declaring that his Mistresse was consented to
his mind, wherefore he demanded the gold which he promised.
Then incontinently Philesiterus delivered him tenne Crownes, and
when night came, Myrmex brought him disguised into his
mistresses Chamber. About Midnight when he and she were
naked together, making sacrifice unto the Goddesse Venus, behold
her husband (contrary to their expectation) came and knocked at
the doore, calling with a loud voice to his Servant Myrmex : whose
long tarrying increased the suspition of his Master, in such sort that
he threatned to beat Myrmex cruelly : but he being troubled with
feare, and driven to his latter shifts, excused the matter saying : that
he could not find the key : by reason it was so darke. In the meane
season Philesiterus hearing the noise at the doore, slipt on his coat
and privily ran out of the Chamber. When Myrmex had opened the
doore to his Master that threatned terribly, and had let him in, he
went into the Chamber to his wife : In the mean while Myrmex let
out Philesiterus, and barred the doores fast, and went againe to
bed. The next morning when Barbarus awaked, he perceived two
unknown slippers lying under his bed, which Philesiterus had
forgotten when he went away. Then he conceived a great suspition
and jealousie in mind, howbeit he would not discover it to his wife,
neither to any other person, but putting secretly the slippers into his
bosome, commanded his other Servants to bind Myrmex
incontinently, and to bring him bound to the Justice after him,
thinking verily that by the meane of the slippers he might boult out
the matter. It fortuned that while Barbarus went towards the
Justice in a fury and rage, and Myrmex fast bound, followed him
weeping, not because he was accused before his master, but by
reason he knew his owne conscience guilty : behold by adventure
Philesiterus (going about earnest businesse) fortuned to meet with
them by the way, who fearing the matter which he committed the
night before, and doubting lest it should be knowne, did suddainly
invent a meane to excuse Myrmex, for he ran upon him and beate
him about the head with his fists, saying : Ah mischievous varlet
that thou art, and perjured knave. It were a good deed if the
Goddesse and thy master here, would put thee to death, for thou art
worthy to be imprisoned and to weare out these yrons, that stalest
my slippers away when thou werest at my baines yester night.
Barbarus hearing this returned incontinently home, and called his
servant Myrmex, commanding him to deliver the slippers againe to
the right owner.

The old woman had scant finished her tale when the Bakers wife
gan say : Verily she is blessed and most blessed, that hath the
fruition of so worthy a lover, but as for me poore miser, I am fallen
into the hands of a coward, who is not onely afraid of my husband
but also of every clap of the mill, and dares not doe nothing, before
the blind face of yonder scabbed Asse. Then the old woman
answered, I promise you certainly if you will, you shall have this
young man at your pleasure, and therewithall when night came, she
departed out of her chamber. In the meane season, the Bakers
wife made ready a supper with abundance of wine and exquisite
fare : so that there lacked nothing, but the comming of the young
man, for her husband supped at one of her neighbours houses.
When time came that my harnesse should be taken off and that I
should rest my selfe, I was not so joyfull of my liberty, as when the
vaile was taken from mine eyes, I should see all the abhomination
of this mischievous queane. When night was come and the Sunne
gone downe, behold the old bawd and the young man, who seemed
to be but a child, by reason he had no beard, came to the doore.
Then the Bakers wife kissed him a thousand times and received
him courteously, placed him downe at the table : but he had scarce
eaten the first morsell, when the good man (contrary to his wives
expectation) returned home, for she thought he would not have
come so soone : but Lord how she cursed him, praying God that he
might breake his necke at the first entry in. In the meane season,
she caught her lover and thrust him into the bin where she bolted
her flower, and dissembling the matter, finely came to her husband
demanding why he came home so soone. I could not abide (quoth
he) to see so great a mischiefe and wicked fact, which my
neighbours wife committed, but I must run away : O harlot as she
is, how hath she dishonoured her husband, I sweare by the
goddesse Ceres, that if I had [not] seene it with mine eyes, I would
never I have beleeved it. His wife desirous to know the matter,
desired him to tell what she had done: then hee accorded to the
request of his wife, and ignorant of the estate of his own house,
declared the mischance of another. You shall understand (quoth
he) that the wife of the Fuller my companion, who seemed to me a
wise and chast woman, regarding her own honesty and profit of her
house, was found this night with her knave. For while we went to
wash our hands, hee and she were together : who being troubled
with our presence ran into a corner, and she thrust him into a mow
made with twigs, appoynted to lay on clothes to make them white
with the smoake of fume and brymstone. Then she sate down with
us at the table to colour the matter : in the meant season the young
man covered in the mow, could not forbeare sneesing, by reason of
the smoake of the brymstone. The good man thinking it had beene
his wife that sneesed, cryed, Christ helpe. But when he sneesed
more, he suspected the matter, and willing to know who it was,
rose from the table, and went to the mow, where hee found a
young man welnigh dead with smoke. When hee understood the
whole matter, he was so inflamed with anger that he called for a
sword to kill him, and undoubtedly he had killed him, had I not
restrained his violent hands from his purpose, assuring him, that his
enemy would dye with the force of his brimstone, without the
harme which he should doe. Howbeit my words would not
appease his fury, but as necessity required he tooke the young man
well nigh choked, and carried him out at the doores. In the meane
season, I counsailed his wife to absent her selfe at some of her
Neighbours houses, till the choller of her husband was pacified, lest
he should be moved against her, as he was against the young man.
And so being weary of their supper, I forthwith returned home.
When the Baker had told his tale, his impudent wife began to curse
and abhorre the wife of the Fuller, and generally all other wives,
which abandon their bodies with any other then with their owne
Husbands, breaking the faith and bond of marriage, whereby she
said, they were worthy to be burned alive. But knowing her owne
guilty conscience and proper whoredome, lest her lover should be
hurt lying in the bin, she willed her husband to goe to bed, but he
having eaten nothing, said that he would sup before he went to rest
: whereby shee was compelled to maugre her eies, to set such
things on the Table as she had prepared for her lover.

But I, considering the great mischiefe of this wicked queane,
devised with my selfe how I might reveale the matter to my
Master, and by kicking away the cover of the binne (where like a
Snaile the young-man was couched) to make her whoredome
apparent and knowne. At length I was ayded by the providence of
God, for there was an old man to whom the custody of us was
committed, that drave me poore Asse, and the other Horses the
same time to the water to drinke; then had I good occasion
ministred, to revenge the injury of my master, for as I passed by, I
perceived the fingers of the young-man upon the side of the binne,
and lifting up my heeles, I spurned off the flesh with the force of
my hoofes, whereby he was compelled to cry out, and to throw
downe the binne on the ground, and so the whoredome of the
Bakers wife was knowne and revealed. The Baker seeing this
was not a little moved at the dishonesty of his wife, but hee tooke
the young-man trembling for feare by the hand, and with cold and
courteous words spake in this sort : Feare not my Sonne, nor thinke
that I am so barbarous or cruell a person, that I would stiffle thee
up with the smoke of Sulphur as our neighbour accustometh, nor I
will not punish thee according to the rigour of the law of Julia,
which commandeth the Adulterers should be put to death : No no, I
will not execute my cruelty against so faire and comely a young
man as you be, but we will devide our pleasure betweene us, by
lying all three in one bed, to the end there may be no debate nor
dissention betweene us, but that either of us may be contented, for
I have alwayes lived with my wife in such tranquillity , that
according to the saying of the wisemen, whatsoever I say, she
holdeth for law, and indeed equity will not suffer, but that the
husband should beare more authority then the wife : with these and
like words he led the young-man to his Chamber, and closed his
wife in another Chamber. On the next morrow, he called two of
the most sturdiest Servants of his house, who held up the young-
man, while he scourged his buttockes welfavouredly with rods like
a child. When he had well beaten him, he said : Art not thou
ashamed, thou that art so tender and delicate a child, to desire the
violation of honest marriages, and to defame thy selfe with wicked
living, whereby thou hast gotten the name of an Adulterer? After
he had spoken these and like words, he whipped him againe, and
chased him out of his house. The young-man who was the
comeliest of all the adulterers, ran away, and did nothing else that
night save onely bewaile his striped and painted buttockes. Soone
after the Baker sent one to his wife, who divorced her away in his
name, but she beside her owne naturall mischiefe, (offended at this
great contumely, though she had worthily deserved the same) had
recourse to wicked arts and trumpery, never ceasing untill she had
found out an Enchantresse, who (as it was thought) could doe what
she would with her Sorcery and conjuration. The Bakers wife
began to intreate her, promising that she would largely recompence
her, if shee could bring one of these things to passe, eyther to make
that her husband may be reconciled to her againe, or else if hee
would not agree thereto, to send an ill spirit into him, to dispossesse
the spirit of her husband. Then the witch with her abhominable
science, began to conjure and to make her Ceremonies, to turne the
heart of the Baker to his wife, but all was in vaine, wherefore
considering on the one side that she could not bring her purpose to
passe, and on the other side the losse of her gaine, she ran hastily
to the Baker, threatning to send an evill spirit to kill him, by meane
of her conjurations. But peradventure some scrupulous reader may
demand me a question, how I, being an Asse, and tyed alwayes in
the mill house, could know the secrets of these women : Verily I
answer, notwithstanding my shape of an Asse, I had the sence and
knowledge of a man, and curiously endeavoured to know out such
injuries as were done to my master. About noone there came a
woman into the Milhouse, very sorrowfull, raggedly attired, with
bare feete, meigre, ill-favoured, and her hayre scattering upon her
face : This woman tooke the Baker by the hand, and faining that
she had some secret matter to tell him, went into a chamber, where
they remained a good space, till all the corne was ground, when as
the servants were compelled to call their master to give them more
corne, but when they had called very often, and no person gave
answer, they began to mistrust, insomuch that they brake open the
doore : when they were come in, they could not find the woman,
hut onely their master hanging dead upon a rafter of the chamber,
whereupon they cryed and lamented greatly, and according to the
custome, when they had washed themselves, they tooke the body
and buried it. The next day morrow, the daughter of the Baker,
which was married but a little before to one of the next Village,
came crying and beating her breast, not because she heard of the
death of her father by any man, but because his lamentable spirit,
with a halter about his necke appeared to her in the night, declaring
the whole circumstance of his death, and how by inchantment he
was descended into hell, which caused her to thinke that her father
was dead. After that she had lamented a good space, and was
somewhat comforted by the servants of the house, and when nine
dayes were expired, as inheretrix to her father, she sold away all
the substance of the house, whereby the goods chanced into divers
mens hands.