THE FORTIETH CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE FORTIETH CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius


How Apuleius was handled by the Bakers wife, which was a
harlot.

The Baker which bought me was an honest and sober man; but his
wife was the most pestilent woman in all the world, insomuch that
he endured many miseries and afflictions with her, so that I my
selfe did secretly pitty his estate, and bewaile his evill fortune : for
she had not one fault alone, but all the mischiefes that could be
devised : shee was crabbed, cruell, lascivious, drunken, obstinate,
niggish, covetous, riotous in filthy expenses, and an enemy to faith
and chastity, a despise of all the Gods, whom other did honour, one
that affirmed that she had a God by her selfe, wherby she deceived
all men, but especially her poore husband, one that abandoned her
body with continuall whoredome. This mischievous queane hated
me in such sort, that shee commanded every day before she was
up, that I should he put into the mill to grind : and the first thing
which she would doe in the morning, was to see me cruelly beaten,
and that I should grind when the other beasts did feed and take
rest. When I saw that I was so cruelly handled, she gave me
occasion to learne her conversation and life, for I saw oftentimes a
yong man which would privily goe into her chamber whose face I
did greatly desire to see, but I could not by reason mine eyes were
covered every day. And verily if I had beene free and at liberty, I
would have discovered all her abhomination. She had an old
woman, a bawd, a messenger of mischiefe that daily haunted to her
house, and made good cheere with her to the utter undoing and
impoverishment of her husband, but I that was greatly offended
with the negligence of Fotis, who made me an Asse, in stead of a
Bird, did yet comfort my selfe by this onely meane, in that to the
miserable deformity of my shape, I had long eares, whereby I might
heare all things that was done : On a day I heard the old bawd say
to the Bakers wife :

Dame you have chosen (without my counsell) a young man to your
lover, who as me seemeth, is dull, fearefull, without any grace, and
dastardlike coucheth at the frowning looke of your odious husband,
whereby you have no delight nor pleasure with him : how farre
better is the young man Philesiterus who is comely, beautifull, in the
flower of his youth, liberall, courteous, valiant and stout against the
diligent pries and watches of your husband, whereby to embrace
the worthiest dames of this country, and worthy to weare a crowne
of gold, for one part that he played to one that was jealous over his
wife. Hearken how it was and then judge the diversity of these
two Lovers : Know you not one Barbarus a Senator of our towne,
whom the vulgar people call likewise Scorpion for his severity of
manners? This Barbarus had a gentlewoman to his wife, whom he
caused daily to be enclosed within his house, with diligent custody.
Then the Bakers wife said, I know her very well, for we two
dwelleth together in one house: Then you know (quoth the old
woman) the whole tale of Philesiterus? No verily (said she) but I
greatly desire to know it : therefore I pray you mother tell me the
whole story. By and by the old woman which knew well to babble,
began to tell as followeth.