THE THIRTY-SEVENTH CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE THIRTY-SEVENTH CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius


How Apuleius saved himselfe from the Cooke, breaking his halter,
and of other things that happened.

In this manner the traiterous Cooke prepared himselfe to slay me :
and when he was ready with his knives to doe his feat, I devised
with my selfe how I might escape the present perill, and I did not
long delay : for incontinently I brake the halter wherewith I was
tied, and flinging my heeles hither and thither to save my selfe, at
length I ran hastily into a Parlour, where the Master of the house
was feasting with the Priests of the goddesse Syria, and disquieted
all the company, throwing downe their meats and drinks from the
table. The Master of the house dismayed at my great disorder,
commanded one of his servants to take me up, and locke me in
some strong place, to the end I might disturb them no more. But I
little regarded my imprisonment, considering that I was happily
delivered from the hands of the traiterous Cooke. Howbeit fortune,
or the fatall disposition of the divine providence, which neither can
be avoided by wise counsell, neither yet by any wholesome
remedie, invented a new torment, for by and by a young ladde
came running into the Parlour all trembling, and declared to the
Master of the house, that there was a madde Dog running about in
the streetes, which had done much harme, for he had bitten many
grey hounds and horses in the Inne by: And he spared neither man
nor beast. For there was one Mitilius a Mulettour, Epheseus, a
Cooke, Hyppanius a chamberlaine, and Appolonius a Physition,
who (thinking to chase away the madde Dogge) were cruelly
wounded by him, insomuch that many Horses and other beasts
infected with the venyme of his poysonous teeth became madde
likewise. Which thing caused them all at the table greatly to feare,
and thinking that I had beene bitten in like sort, came out with
speares, Clubs, and Pitchforks purposing to slay me, and I had
undoubtedly beene slaine, had I not by and by crept into the
Chamber, where my Master intended to lodge all night. Then they
closed and locked fast the doores about me, and kept the chamber
round, till such time as they thought that the pestilent rage of
madnesse had killed me. When I was thus shutte in the chamber
alone, I laid me downe upon the bed to sleepe, considering it was
long time past, since I lay and tooke my rest as a man doth. When
morning was come, and that I was well reposed, I rose up lustily.
In the meane season, they which were appointed to watch about
the chamber all night, reasoned with themselves in this sort, Verely
(quoth one) I think that this rude Asse be dead. So think I (quoth
another) for the outragious poyson of madness hath killed him, but
being thus in divers opinions of a poore Ass, they looked through a
crevis, and espied me standing still, sober and quiet in the middle of
the chamber; then they opened the doores, and came towards me,
to prove whether I were gentle or no. Amongst whom there was
one, which in my opinion, was sent from Heaven to save my life,
that willed the other to set a bason of faire water before me, and
thereby they would know whether I were mad or no, for if I did
drinke without feare as I accustomed to do, it was a signe that I
was whole, and in mine Assie wits, where contrary if I did flie and
abhorre the tast of the water, it was evident proofe of my madness,
which thing he said that he had read in ancient and credible books,
whereupon they tooke a bason of cleere water, and presented it
before me: but I as soone as I perceived the wholesome water of
my life, ran incontinently, thrusting my head into the bason, drank as
though I had beene greatly athirst; then they stroked me with their
hands, and bowed mine eares, and tooke me by the halter, to prove
my patience, but I taking each thing in good part, disproved their
mad presumption, by my meeke and gentle behaviour: when I was
thus delivered from this double danger, the next day I was laded
againe with the goddesse Siria, and other trumpery, and was
brought into the way with Trumpets and Cymbals to beg in the
villages which we passed by according to our custome. And after
that we had gone through a few towns and Castles, we fortuned to
come to a certaine village, which was builded (as the inhabitants
there affirme) upon the foundation of a famous ancient Citie. And
after that we had turned into the next Inne, we heard of a prettie
jest committed in the towne there, which I would that you should
know likewise.