THE EIGHTEENTH CHAPTER

The Golden Ass

by Lucius Apuleius

THE EIGHTEENTH CHAPTER, THE GOLDEN ASS by Lucius Apuleius

How Apuleius thinking to eat Roses, was cruelly beaten by a
Gardener, and chased by dogs

When noone was come, that the broyling heate of the sunne had
most power, we turned into a village to certaine of the theeves
acquaintance and friends, for verily their meeting and embracing
together did give me, poore asse, cause to deeme the same, and
they tooke the trusse from my backe, and gave them part of the
Treasure which was in it, and they seemed to whisper and tell them
that it was stollen goods, and after that we were unladen of our
burthens, they let us loose in a medow to pasture, but myne own
horse and Miloes Asse would not suffer me to feed there with
them, but I must seeke my dinner in some other place.

Wherefore I leaped into a garden which was behinde the stable,
and being well nigh perished with hunger, although I could find
nothing there but raw and green fallets, yet I filled my hungry guts
therwithall abundantly, and praying unto all the gods, I looked about
in every place if I could espy any red roses in the gardens by, and
my solitary being alone did put me in good hope, that if I could find
any remedy, I should presently of an Asse be changed into Lucius
out of every mans sight. And while I considered these things, I
loked about, and behold I saw a farre off a shadowed valley
adjoyning nigh unto a wood, where amongst divers other hearbes
and pleasant verdures, me thought I saw bright flourishing Roses of
bright damaske colour; and said within my bestaill minde, Verily
that place is the place of Venus and the Graces, where secretly
glistereth the royall hew, of so lively and delectable a floure. Then
I desiring the help of the guide of my good fortune, ranne lustily
towards the wood, insomuch that I felt myself that I was no more
an Asse, but a swift coursing horse : but my agility and quicknes
could not prevent the cruelty of my fortune, for when I came to the
place I perceived that they were no roses, neither tender nor
pleasant, neither moystened with the heavenly drops of dew, nor
celestial liquor, which grew out of the thicket and thornes there.
Neither did I perceive that there was any valley at all, but onely the
bank of the river, environed with great thick trees, which had long
branches like unto lawrell, and bearing a flour without any manner
of sent, and the common people call them by the name of Lawrel
roses, which be very poyson to all manner of beasts. Then was I
so intangled with unhappy fortune that I little esteemed mine own
danger, and went willingly to eat of these roses, though I knew
them to be present poyson : and as I drew neere I saw a yong man
that seemed to be the gardener, come upon mee, and when he
perceived that I had devoured all his hearbes in the garden, he
came swearing with a great staffe n his hand, and laid upon me in
such sort, that I was well nigh dead, but I speedily devised some
remedy my self, for I lift up my legs and kicked him with my hinder
heels, that I left him lying at the hill foot wel nigh slain, and so I ran
away. Incontinently came out his wife, who seeing her husband
halfe dead, cried and howled in pittifull sort, and went toward her
husband, to the intent that by her lowd cries shee might purchase to
me present destruction. Then all the persons of the town, moved
by her noise came forth, and cried fro dogs to teare me down. Out
came a great company of Bandogs and mastifes, more fit to pul
down bears and lions than me, whom when I beheld I thought verily
I should presently die : but I turned myself about, and ranne as fast
as ever I might to the stable from whence I came. Then the men
of the towne called in their dogs, and took me and bound mee to the
staple of a post, and scourged me with a great knotted whip till I
was well nigh dead, and they would undoubtedly have slaine me,
had it not come to passe, that what with the paine of their beating,
and the greene hearbes that lay in my guts, I caught such a laske
that I all besprinkled their faces with my liquid dung, and enforced
them to leave off.